How insights from global peacebuilding can help leaders and employees foster respect, even when politics enter the workplace.
With incivility rising, it’s time to rethink how we handle conflict at work.
The workplace is not a war zone—but it can start to feel like one when political tensions, personal frustrations, and cultural divides turn into incivility. As research on international conflict zones shows, incivility isn’t just about bad manners—it stems from deeper psychological needs, misperceptions, and a breakdown of shared understanding. Fortunately, the same science used to resolve entrenched hostilities abroad can help us build more civil, cooperative workplaces right here at home (Abrams, 2025).
This article explores what HR managers, leaders, and employees can do to reduce incivility—especially when fueled by political differences—and promote a more respectful, inclusive environment.
1. Understand the Roots of Incivility
Psychological research reveals that incivility often arises when core human needs are threatened—especially the need to be heard, feel safe, and believe our experiences matter. Political and social divides in the workplace may seem ideological, but they’re often about identity and unmet expectations. As psychologist Eran Halperin puts it, the dominant emotion isn’t always hatred—it’s disappointment: in institutions, in colleagues, in what we thought the workplace or our country should be (Abrams, 2025).
Takeaway for Leaders:
Recognize that behind frustration or aggression may be someone feeling unseen or invalidated. Acknowledge tensions without letting them fester.
2. Counter Misperceptions
Research shows that people often overestimate how much members of the “other side” dislike them. This perceived hostility breeds actual hostility. For example, one study cited by Abrams (2025) found that partisans on both sides assume far more animosity from their opponents than actually exists.
Takeaway for Teams:
Use training sessions or facilitated dialogue to uncover and address these false assumptions. Normalize curiosity over judgment.
3. Focus on Shared Values and Common Goals
In conflict zones, peacebuilders have found success by highlighting shared identities rather than differences. This strategy, called the common ingroup identity model, helps people move from an “us vs. them” mindset to “we’re in this together” (Abrams, 2025).
In the workplace, that might mean focusing on:
- Shared goals (e.g., completing a project, serving customers, innovating responsibly)
- Shared values (e.g., respect, integrity, teamwork)
- Shared experiences (e.g., raising kids, caregiving, adapting to change)
Takeaway for HR:
Build rituals and systems that reinforce commonality: cross-departmental collaboration, shared lunch spaces, or monthly storytelling sessions.
4. Encourage Storytelling, Not Slogans
When people hear political slogans or data, they often dig into their own beliefs. But when they hear personal stories, especially those involving harm, fear, or growth, empathy increases. Research confirms that storytelling is more effective than facts in bridging divides (Abrams, 2025).
Takeaway for Managers:
Model this by sharing your own story—what shaped your values, how you changed your mind, what you’ve learned from a mistake. Invite others to do the same in safe, structured environments like town halls or reflection sessions.
5. Build Relationships Before Tough Conversations
Before diving into polarizing discussions, build trust. Social psychologist Kurt Gray recommends this sequence:
- Bond first – Connect on something unrelated (kids, music, sports).
- Ask, don’t argue – Invite others to share their views.
- Validate, don’t debate – Reflect what you heard and thank them, even if you disagree (Abrams, 2025).
Takeaway for Employees:
You don’t need to agree to be respectful. But mutual respect becomes more likely if trust is established first.
6. Know When to Disengage
For employees, while civility is the goal, not every interaction will be productive—or safe. If someone is expressing hate speech, or promoting exclusionary ideologies, disengaging in the moment may be the healthiest choice (Abrams, 2025).
Takeaway for Everyone:
Civility is not silence in the face of harm. Speak up through proper channels (HR, managers), and management needs to create policies that protect psychological safety.
7. Lead a “Civility Challenge”
Borrowing from international programs like Hands Across the Hills and the YMCA’s equity initiatives, consider implementing a 30-day workplace civility challenge. Each day, encourage a small action like:
- Greeting someone new
- Asking a colleague about a personal hobby
- Giving unexpected appreciation
- Listening without interrupting
- Learning about a colleague’s cultural background (Abrams, 2025)
Takeaway for HR & Managers:
Make civility tangible and the norm. Even small acts of kindness shift workplace culture over time.
The Bottom Line
Civility is not the absence of disagreement—it’s how we navigate differences with dignity. In a time when national polarization threatens workplace harmony, HR leaders and employees alike must actively foster environments that resist division and promote shared purpose.
Because workplaces don’t just reflect society—they help shape it.
Reference
Abrams, Z. (2025, March 1). What the psychology of conflict zones can teach us about incivility: Lessons from international peacebuilding can help heal the American political divide. Monitor on Psychology, 56(2), 30. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2025/03/conflict-zones-incivility